The Infamous Rausch Trip of 2015
In a land far far away.... jeep fags around the nation gathered to show off their aluminum clad GayJs and GayKs only to look pretty sprawled around the camp area that is Rausch Creek Off Road Park for the annual wheel to heal event held at the park, however, thats just part of the story almost irrelevant cuz we went for our own wheeling trip not pertaining to the Jeep Event, but anytime I get to shit on jeep fags is always fun. Anyways, we'll start with the journey.
Ch 1. The Journey
Ahhh yes, the start to a memorable trip. We all met up at the Tom's Creek house around 530 all packed and ready to go! But whats that, our club president at the time, Sam, still doesnt have his shitbucket ready cuz his parts are at the post office?! Not to fear our resident Jeep Forum God came to the rescue! Michael used his usual white girl telephone bitching skills to ensure that the post office stay open late enough to acquire the said jeep part. The rest of us, however, were ready to go and head for the open road while Alec and Sam stayed behind to get the Jeep running.
Twas myself in the ShitRunner, Patrick in his Rubi GayKU, Nick in his AlumiGayJ, and Hughes in his GayK. All was well, hope in the hearts, gas in the tanks, and excitement in the air. Well.... for about a whole 50min when Nick's turd bucket decides to start shitting hershey squirts of ATF all over 81... excellent...
We werent entirely sure why it was doing that, but his trans sure didnt like interstate speeds and seemed to be overheating. So we all stopped in some random town that managed to have an advance and decided to buy an auxiliary trans cooler and ATF and install it in the parking lot. By this time it was prolly around 9 and we still havent made it past the border of Virginia. Figured while Nick and Michael were getting the cooler installed, I could do my part by opening up my tool box for their disposal, taking a lovely shit in the advance restroom, followed by a nice nipplely cold nappy poo on the bench outside the store. Unfortunately approximately an hour later, they finished putting the cooler on, and much like an angry panda bear being awaken from his slumber, I was dragged off my hobo bench and back into the death contraption that is my 4runner.
On the road again... the slow boat to Rausch continued as we headed on the side roads piecing the air in front of us at a break neck speed of 40mph. Nicks trans seemed to behave itself as long as we kept the speed low. Eventually, we made to camp around 2AM, sleep deprived and with spirits quite very low. Alec and Sam were only a few hours behind us. It was finally time to pass the fuck out before we hit wheeling hard in the morning.
Ch 2. Wheeling Day 1
Well, needless to say, we were all still tired as fuck, but we came to wheel, so we're gonna wheel! Shoved a few fists full of cheerios and washed it all down with some hatoraid and I was good to go! Started the day with a nice light short trail. Everyone seemed to be doing just fine and everything was as peachy as can be.
![Image](http://i961.photobucket.com/albums/ae95/chriswong94/Shitrunner/Rausch%202015/12139966_10207838872915901_8105881007731003137_o.jpg)
Twas soooooo pretty!!!!!
![:crybaby2:](./images/smilies/crybaby2.gif)
Enjoy how it looks now, like a sexy vegas escort that only takes black Am Ex cards...
![Image](http://i961.photobucket.com/albums/ae95/chriswong94/Shitrunner/Rausch%202015/11703505_10207838871635869_8743904734883659825_o.jpg)
The imfamous AlumiGayJ Ladies and gents... Note the badass trans cooler zip tied to the ol seven slot.
After that little cock tease of a trail appetizer, it was time for the meat and potatoes, the main course, right? Nah, fuck dat! Dessert time! DAAAAAA COMP COURSE!!! We had pretty much the whole park to ourselves for most of the day as the event jeepers didnt start showing up till later in the evening. This left the comp course pretty empty and open for defiling purposes!
The next thing i hear after about 15min of fucking around on the comp course is Alec yelling from across the course, "Hey Wong! Go hit that double hump obstacle I just did! It was pretty fun!" And I figured , "meh why not?"
So la dee dah, just cruised over and started crawling the obstacle. Got up the first part of it and then turtled it at the top of the obstacle. No moving back or forth, just stuck.... At which point Alec and the rest of the inbreed dinguses came and said "we'll give you a quick push off" okeedoke...
well...I was off the obstacle...
It was dead silent for about 2 seconds and then the only thing I hear is shrill squak of Michael's fatass screaming, "FUCKING DICKS!!!! THE SANDWICHES!!!! NOT MY SANDWICHES!!!!" This fucking kid decides to pick up his fucking sandwiches before he even checks to see if Im still alive...
but crawled out my coffin without even a scratch.
![Image](http://i961.photobucket.com/albums/ae95/chriswong94/Shitrunner/Rausch%202015/11034473_10207838880036079_6106781658069927027_o.jpg)
The "well fuck..." look on everyones faces.
Had nick mosey his stupid jeep over and winched the fat bitch back over, it looked pretty rough, but it started right up with not even half a puff of smoke. bent the bumper out and drove the turd bucket back to camp and had lunch. Best part, was after the rolling I was expecting to have blew out all the glass, but not a scratch on my windshield and the 4 side windows and rear window all rolled up. Only broken glass was the moon roof and the two back windows.
Pretty sure at this point everyone thought I was done wheeling, but I aint bout that Jeep fag life. I also paid for two days of wheeling so I was gonna get two days of wheeling. Soooooooo while these twat waffles were taking a nappy poo in the GayJ....
A couple slaves and I got to duck taping and ripping all unneccesary shit off to get it ready to wheel!
![Image](http://i961.photobucket.com/albums/ae95/chriswong94/Shitrunner/Rausch%202015/EA9827FC-CE5E-4917-9346-02047F56ECCA.jpg)
GOOD AS NEW!!! Cant even tell I rolled it! In the words of da Bae Taylor,
"But I keep cruising
Can't stop, won't stop moving
It's like I got this music in my mind
Saying it's gonna be alright"
Back to Schweelin!!!
Ch 3. Day 2 Wheeling!!!!
Will and Nick Mayfield showed up pretty early with their buggies and were ready to fuck shit up, so we tried to go meet up with them at rock creek and not 10min into the trail, Nick Barranger's trans decides to shit a fat brick... So tugged his turd back to camp and they rode with me back on the trails.
Back on the trails, we met up with will alec and nick and headed for rock creek...
....And then decided to blow 2 cvs within 10ft of the rock garden. Took the bypass around to the top and swapped in my spare CV. Bunch of deuchey FJ guys were looking at me like theyve never seen someone replace a CV on trail. Had it replaced within 20min.
Not much happened after the rock garden, we hit a few other trails and then it back to camp for the usual camp shennanigans, but not after we made a run to tractor supply for a tow bar....
The convoy back, was quite the interesting one to say the least. Nick bought us all McDicks.
Still the best trip I've been on and definitely the most memorable. Also the trip that truly epitomizes the shit in ShitRunner.
Your eyes are prolly bleeding from all the reading. Oh Well, tough shit sugartits.